Secrets in the Dark

It was the noise that broke through first............a loud humming,coupled with some violent jerks and bumps which knocked me around............as i opened my eyes,i could see nothing beyond the black that reached all around............like a dark ocean i was drowning in.i felt slow............discombobulated............

My head hurts............

A particularly violent bump,and i was floating in mid air............the world slowed down............i was floating in this dark sea of madness,and i am Sanity............i am Coherence............i am Madness.

Until i crashed back onto the floor of the trunk.pain ripped through my body,but i welcomed it,it was a familiar friend,an old friend,and it helped me to focus.

As consciousness took its place back in the drivers seat,i came to a very simple and obvious conclusion.i was trapped in the trunk of a car.no points for guessing the obvious.

My head really hurts.

I have no idea how i got here.hell i dont even know who i am.

I stretched out as far as I could,trying to get a feel of my surroundings,and winced.My right hand hurt like(a broken mirror,a million images,none clear) hell,a few small cuts on his knuckles and fingers.Probably nothing,but someone had gone to town on my head. blood trickled down my neck,my hair, matted with blood.

In my pant pockets i find a wallet,feel through it,but im blind here,so i move on.

I look through my jacket pockets and find a lighter and a pack of death sticks.i flick open the lighter,and while lying down on my side on the floor of a trunk,i go through my wallet by the flickering yellow light.some money,credit cards and a Police Identification Card.

Detective Jack (jacky boy) Dreyfus.

A piece of my life falls into place.i was a Narc,and i was good.i had been a Detective for only a few months but i already had 2 major busts under my belt.was this some form of retribution?a rough bump,and the lighter fails me,and i am plunged back into the darkness.

The headache takes over again and i close my eyes,wishing it away.

As it passes ,i resume my search, but stop as my hands brush over a leather strap.i follow it to feel what seems to be an empty holster(i can almost feel the cold of the gun,the power that accompanies it,the reassuring recoil when i fire...and i know i am Death).

Alright Jack,you need to think yourself out of this,so lets start by how you got in here the first place.

Memories.some should be cherished,some should locked up in a dark place where it can either die off or fester into something sinister.

(He remembered...his first toy gun that his dad had bought him for his third birthday.jacky boy could still see him standing at the door,wearing his suit,straight out of a day at court,while his mom was still teaching at college.he told jacky boy that it would be their little secret,and jacky boy loved secrets.)

No,thats not what i was looking for.it was hopelessly dark,but i groped around,looking for some clue.

(He remembered...his partner Dan,his wife Maureen and their daughter sweet Debra.He had gone to their house for dinner.He was standing at their front door and sweet Debra had opened the door.He was taken aback.She was exquisite.Her skinned glowed with innocence ,her eyes were grey with flecks of green,like a distant storm.she was the peace before the storm.they sat down to dinner,and were soon swept up by Dans wonderful stories and infectious laughter.Later Dan had pulled Dreyfus away from the others and asked him if everything...was...alright...?)

The image faded away...

Something was wrong,something was missing.as i lied on my stomach,now accustomed to the gentle rocking(highway?),i racked my brain for an answer...

(He remembered...talking to Dan outside a warehouse they were about to raid that belonged to the Mob.Dan told him that there were some very rich people willing to share their wealth a little bit.Dreyfus was tempted,but he didn fold.Dan was pissed.words were exchanged.honest cops dont earn much,and their kids go to community college,but Dan wanted more.he wanted a better life for his family.he wanted to send sweet Debra to a good college.she had the grades,he did not have the money.when they cooled down,Dan had invited him home,no hard feelings,still buddies.)

Had Dan traded my life for 30 pieces of silver?was it worth the risk to aid in the murder of a Police Detective?the heat would come down hard on him and his Mob buddies.surely,no one could be that stupid...

But then again,from what i remember,i live alone,no relatives and i ran away from home(SECRETS IN THE DARK) long ago...

The realisation set me off in a frenzy of movement.I started groping around,looking for a weapon of some sort. in my desperation,I started slamming my shoulder against the lid,again and again.

Calm down jack,you dont even know where you are.you could be halfway across the city(the gentle rocking?) by now.

I tried to focus,groping around the darkness for the lighter.i was hoping to use it to find something to defend myself,but then my head exploded in white hot pain,like a firecracker,burning out of my eyes...and the darkness gave way as the doors of my mind opened up.

(He remembered...his parents were dead,plane crash.He had cried when he heard,but not since.he was now living with his aunt and uncle.they were different.his aunt was indifferent to him but his uncle loved jacky boy...his uncle took jacky boy fishing,taught him to hunt deer,took him to his cabins in the wood and introduced him to a world of cigarettes,whisky,weed,pornography...and secrets in the dark jacky boy...)

The light faded,and soon it was just me in the dark of the trunk.I was opening doors i had tried to close years ago,but it was a part of me.that cabin was a playhouse of horrors,and i was taken there repeatedly.my uncle threatened to kill me if i ever spoke out about it,so i suffered through until i couldnt any more.when i turned 13,i ran away from home and found my way to a relatives house,far from the horrors that had plagued my childhood.but my secrets followed me everywhere.

After some cajoling,I managed to pull out the wheel nut wrench and the jack(y boy).I laughed out loud,I laughed like a maniac.(hardy har har,jokes on me.gods a fucking comedian.)but i laughed into a darkness that was neither threatened nor amused by my insanity.The dam had broken and memories flooded through...

(He remembered...his college girlfriend,she dumped,they fought,she stabbed him in the leg with a kitchen fork...

Her smile as he screamed...

Jacky boy raped her on their dorm room floor,with her hands pinned to the floor and sock in her mouth...in his ecstasy he slit her throat,and as the blood spurted out all over him,he felt cleansed of his sins...

More importantly...he felt power.

She was not the last.there were more,hookers and homeless women mostly,women of the night.women who would not be missed.as he worked his way through college and the Force,he ended many lives at the edge of his blade.They always begged...jacky boy always smiled before he killed them...because he knew the shame they were living through...and he wished his uncle had done the same to him years ago...but he was not his uncle...he was Merciful...

A close call,he was nearly caught once,a year ago.he had stayed low since then...but the Secrets had resurfaced tonight...

Sweet Debra...

He had entered her bedroom as she was getting ready for bed...innocent,glowing...she saw the hunger in his eyes and ran to the bathroom...he reached there before she could close the door...Dreyfus caught her by the hair and slammed her head against the bathroom mirror and a part of his hand got caught between her head and the shattered mirror...

He threw her down and stole her innocence..a mirror shard,one jagged stroke across the neck and he felt the ecstasy and power racing through him...

Dan burst in...the tears,the anger in his eyes...a struggle...

darkness)