Monday, June 2, 2014

Of Death and Other Such and Such

I cannot keep the smile on anymore.

I have no more reassuring words for myself.

These days,all the face in the mirror does anymore is lie.

Oh how I wish I could disappear through the edge of the frame with him,into the other world.

Anything that numbs must be good.

I was wondering,as i do so often these days,of death.

The absolute,ultimate fullstop.

And of love and death.

Of suicide.

What seemed stupid earlier...

See Suicide seemed like an absolutely selfish thing,a person who would put his family through that is absolutely selfish. To be a whiny little bitch,unable to #DealWithLife, and then slit your wrists and bleed your life away.

Absolutely disgusting.

Until I started seeing it from a different point of view.

As the most selfless thing ever. As a statement.

That my life without her is absolute emptiness and pain. That death can offer nothing less than respite. That i fear not the unknown and haunting black of death but cannot persist with a lifetime of pain and sadness,that would follow me.

Ah the wisps of sanity,the harder I try to grab on,the quicker it slips through my fingers.

The bridge is wide and strong but falls well short of the other side. A distance that seems just beyond the possible,yet inviting. A leap is all it takes.

Madness is all about the leap.