Damnation

What a fallacy life is. What a hopeless joke.

Well to clarify, I choose to relate life with consciousness. The ability to make your own decisions. To choose what is, and what isn't good for yourself.


Yourself.
What does that mean?
To exist. To think. To breathe. To desire. To dream. To Live.
An animal has no identity. Because it cannot (as far as we know), make any choices to affect it's own well - being in the bigger scheme of things. As far as animals are concerned, there IS no bigger scheme of things.
Humans are elevated beyond the level of animals simply because, unlike animals, they seek to carve a niche for themselves in this world, through the means of their own identity.
But why bother? Honestly speaking, there isn't much we have to live for.
Though this may be unacceptable to many, it is possible to explain the rationale behind every human act of kindness, compassion or altruism. How?
Through pure selfishness.
An example then.
Philanthropy.
Charity.
What drives a person to them?
By accounts, there is a feeling of upliftment, of some unexplainable satisfaction gained through aiding the world.
I have an explanation. Selfishness.
Essentially, Charity and Drug - Abuse are two sides of the same coin.
They both make you feel good.
And we both know how much every human wants that. That feeling of satisfaction and meaning.
So there you have it. Every thing good about the human race, sprang up from the same part of your brain that drives a drug addict to shooting up.
Kind of puts a spanner in the whole scheme of things doesn't it?
Let's have another example. Because I just can't get enough of them.

Friendship.
Love.
Society.
Things every human needs and wants.
Honestly, do I need to say more?
We bond with other human beings solely because of our inability to be alone. Every noble aspect of friendship and love, takes it's root from a purely self-serving point of view. Humans cannot survive on their own, hence they commune with other humans. It's not something that we can look in the face either.
If we could that would redeem us in one way at least.
But humankind, in it's infinite wisdom and foresight, has gilded love (both platonic and non-platonic) with the trappings of another form of altruism.
It sickens me. This inability to accept the truth. But that's another issue entirely.
Onwards..

Have I convinced you? Or do you require more?
Fine. One final proof. For those of you who still choose to remain without belief.

A mother's love for her child.
The single purest thing in the world. Romanticized by poets, venerated by the pious, celebrated in song.
Maybe this one thing, might remain uncorrupted by the taint that every human bears?
Wrong. Nothing more than evolutionary necessity. Hormones and pheromones.
If you don't believe me, look it up.

So, what have we learned today?
Human beings are self - serving in every aspect of their lives.
There is no such thing as love, because love springs out of it's very antithesis.
Everything that you believed was a lie.

Thank You.
Have a Nice Day.

Stupid Mistakes

A shrill screech was the last thing I'd heard.

I'd passed out after.

I woke up against all odds to find that I was surrounded by people.

'Dont move' they screamed together like an untrained choir.

They shouted it again and again, and maintained a safe distance from me.

My passive mind picked up on their anxiety and I obeyed by n0t moving a millimeter.

My father stepped forward and explained the situation.

' He was here son, but dont worry they got him. He's dead now, he came back for you, but he's been punished. But, I am afraid that he may have done some permanent damage.'

He hesitated a little and said

'Its very essential that you dont move because your face has been cut right through the middle. The good doctor will explain the rest.'

They were well prepared for this explanation, made me wonder how long I'd been out.

The good doctor, a man in his 40's with prematurely greying hair and a thin frame, stepped forward.

He said,

' You see young man, what we have here is unintended perfection. The perfect cut. Do not misunderstand me, but I can not not admire the art.

The big bad man, used a laser to cut through your face. It is a plane cut, angled at 30 o t upwards from the front, starting above your lips. The laser has cut right through your maxillary, palatial, sphenoid and occipital bones succesfully emerging from the back of your head, however as is common experience in life when plastic sheets stick to wet surfaces, all the blood vessels are in alignment and those which are'nt have been cauterized by the laser. A miracle indeed. Your face is being held in place by your mere lack of movement. Even the tiniest action could cause your face to split into two.

I suggest young man that you neither move, talk, eat nor drink, until a solution is thought of.

The brightest minds have been called forth to brainstorm so worry not, a solution will be reached.'

I did as asked of me and for three days I lay still. People came, people went. I became a scientific subject for some, a doomed relative for others and a horrific tale for the rest.

The fourth day, thirsty and hungry to the bone I was, when the good doctor came back.

He said, ' Young man, we have found a way to make you live. It is simple and painless and a permanent cure. You shall receive treatment from tomorrow. The world is good again.'

Joy surged through me like a roller coaster and I stood up and jumped as high as I could.

When I fell, I wasnt the same, I felt my plane of vision rotate and I landed in a pool of my own blood.

My body lay a few inches in front.

The Unnatural

Unnatural bouts of fear.

Perceived movement on the other side of my bedroom window.

Randomly fluttering curtains.

Feeling observed.

Dead dog, in my living room.

Dead birds on the roof.

A vial of white pills.

Neither placebo nor cure.

A man in a white coat.

Ladies in green.

All eyes fixed on me.

White environment.

A room merely declared as solitary.

Loneliness yet I dont feel.

Bed, Mirror and the loo.

Morning, noon and night.

Dead by morning.

Unnatural hands, the harbinger of my doom.

Unnatural death.

Fractured hyoid.

Self strangulation they say.

Physicians devoid of physical perception,

declare dead yet another mysterious person.

But, hardly anybody asks for my side of the story.

I performed the unnatural.

But I wasnt me.

NOTE :

Depersonalization disorder (DPD) is a dissociative disorder in which the sufferer is affected by persistent or recurrent feelings of depersonalization and/or derealization. Diagnostic criteria include persistent or recurrent experiences of feeling detached from one's mental processes or body. The symptoms include a sense of automaton, going through the motions of life but not experiencing it, feeling as though one is in a movie, loss of conviction with one's identity, feeling as though one is in a dream, feeling a disconnection from one's body, out-of-body experience (a detachment from one's body), and difficulty relating oneself to reality and the environment.

Other Worlds I

The two clans were almost unaware of each other's existence.

They even saw the world in different light.

The Neari were like noctuelles, adapted to the moonlight.

The Samar were like birds, the life of day.

Yet they inhabited but the same land, ate the same fruit, hunted the same creatures

and were hunted by the same beasts.

Like most early people both clans worshipped everything around them, the earth, the wind, the rivers, the animals and the sky, sharing a very sophisticated relationship with nature, yet possessing merely simplistic drives.

They say the most beautiful part of a river is the estuary; that of an ocean, the beach; that of music, where melody meets silence and that of a painting where colour meets space.

Every year, during the eclipse when day becomes night, the Neari who had attained their adoloscence would come out from their hiding, so would the Samar.

Temporarily blinded by the gold and silver rays, they would engage in the most blissful activity known to them, moans and cries of pleasure would silence the birds and all other creatures of Earth.

They would then return to their hiding, never to talk about the happenings during the eclipse, silently believing that they had experienced god.

Then came the ice age.

Note : 'Possibility' is a very intrinsic term in human life, drawing from recent understandings and developments in theoretical and experiential physics it seems that any scenario is actually possible. The situation described in this story may very well be the reality in some other universe, defined by a different set of rules. Our science, their magic.

Watch Me Grow

Someday, I will be the man who you will look up to.

Someday, out of the blue, It'll hit you,

Hey I knew that guy you'll say,

He was'nt like this before, you'll think to yourself,

Someday, I will own you,

and possibly the world around you too,

Out of the blue, It'll hit you,

and you'd say, I knew this man would own me someday,

Someday I'll be king of the world,

Someday, a whole new day,

in maybe a whole new world,

around maybe a whole new bunch of people.

Someday I'll be able to look you in the eye and say,

Watch me grow, Watch me rise,

To unprecedented heights,

While you plunge to even greater depths.

Today,

A tiny flame flickers in a lamp as black as night,

blackened by rage and passion,

the fire lost in the emptiness,

Perhaps,

In the silence I still hear those 'somedays', and I still see your face,

Reminding me of the endless race I pursued.