Sunday, November 8, 2015

four disconcerting thoughts

Let me breathe fire
Let the world know my shame

Where's the writing on the wall
the ceiling,the floor but the mirror
The mirror shows me for what I am
unreal and opposite,smiling and tame

show me the rhyme
the reason to build
where the artists can file
and the bidding can begin

i tell me to ask why we pretend
is it just a lie or do we really care
we all have our problems,why pity the weak
look,here's another one you can like and share

words with no hate
are words with no meaning
words can buy love
if the price is right,and the bitch is willing

Saturday, August 15, 2015


sharing her demons
savoring my pain
holding her hand and
wiping her stain'd

eyes, and her lies
and her reasons to stay
her torrential denial
my nerves of fray'd

endings are less than they're made out to be
unless your world's burning
unless you're me

Monday, July 13, 2015


Prelude Non-continuous

"I could drown on dry land" (Let that sink in)

A timid thought from a feeble mind.
It was anything but kind.
A little desire in a inhumane attire.
"Let's do that" concluded this fallen child of mankind.

Inflicting inconvenience birthed a smirk.
Insisting pain birthed a laugh.
Implementing his desire made him not give a fuck.

Like the time he hosed down that transformer.
With optimistic prime expecting a disaster.
Ain't no power to the people.
The power he thought should be with the capability 
of a higher being that should show no remorse. On committing the necessary evil.
See.Kill. Was a wild predictor instinct. 

"I'm not an animal"
No animal would break into a school dead in the night.
And burn all the records kept to decide the fates of our future.
No animal would be able to do that.
"I'm not an animal, I'm the imperative, the mandatory stat"

Punching an infant used to be a giggle of the past.
Now mixing cyanide in the water tank seemed a riot.
Along with the carcass of that dead girl Charlotte.

Charlotte was a deadbeat, who threw her pet dog out in the street.
Milo didn't deserve that and seemed offended.
'That's not good manners', thought  the sane man.
While he gutted her and the bad conduct ended.

Just another day in the life of the light-bringer.

*Turns off the light*

Friday, July 10, 2015

I Killed a FUCKING Lizard in front of his DAD (parent)

I am sorry child but now you are free

But maybe if you were 
smarter than me

Maybe i would die in
stead of you

And all of that would mean nothing too

Friday, June 5, 2015


Sweet dark respite
Why dost thou evade me
Scorned lover I am
Seeking,never finding 

Tumultuous waves
Cold heat on summers day
Floating in safe waters
Crashing on bitter edge

Dirigible no more
Loose anchor,straying
Derisive judgement
Absolved of judgement

Now hooked to wires
Pumped with snake oil
This is more than fever
This is Zombie Madness

Thursday, May 28, 2015


When the pieces don't seem to fit 
That's when you know it's all gone to shit 

Stretch the smile and hope for the best
A bullet to the head,take the load off of your chest

Friday, April 10, 2015

Dear Everything

Sweet and tragic respite
My demise and irreverent fall
Weary traveller, hopeful light
Shine bright, consume all.

I am your measured breath
Light and shallow, sharp and sweet
There ever for all the pieces set
As I watch you twirl, delicate, petite.

All I am, is the wailing wind
I disappear at your touch,
I destroy by your word

All I am is the storm and rain
Shouting thunder
Whirling pain

I am her sweet respite,
She is my tragic fall.
I am the fading light,
She is my end, she is my all.

Friday, April 3, 2015

Articulate Thoughts

There is no Truth, without Fire,
There is no Death, without Pain.
There is no World, without Misery,
There is no Freedom, without its Chains.

Sunday, March 29, 2015

Lies and Reflection

there's something in the closet

In the flickering light, the chaos was hard not to appreciate. The sheer ferocity of the damage around him was perfect in its devastating beauty. Cracked mirrors cackled from within its myriad of horrifying images. Amongst the roaring, tumbling sea of destruction, a man sat in the relative safe harbor of a wooden chair. He cradled his shotgun, even as the blood rolling down his wrist stained the trigger a drying red.

As he huddled over, his broad shoulders trembled and shook as he whimpered and wept, but no sound escaped his lips and his eyes ran dry.

He wept, all the same.

I quietly knocked as I slipped open the door. My smile, replaced by a frown as I saw her crying quietly into her pillow. I rushed to her side, stepping over dolls with vacant smiles and stuffed animals with dead eyes. She sobbed even as I put my arms around her and told her that I would never let anything happen to her.


The fell stench filled the air again now. He jerked out of his reverie as the air grew dank,as he felt the cold enter his bones again.

Her tiny frame trembled in my arms as her tears were soaked by my shirt. I felt the fear only a parent could feel for a threatened child, as my heart pounded in my chest, as I sought to find what would scare her like this, what would steal her smile and sow disharmony in its place. No matter what I did, I couldn't bring her back to me, I couldn't find my little girl, in the middle of her own room, in the bed she slept. I wasn't a good father, I knew that. I drank too much and too often. Sometimes I came home and brought my own frustrations and anger to bear upon my family. Sometimes ,in the murky waters of my mind, I drowned. Sometimes I swung before I could think. There had been some bad nights. But for the life of me, I loved my family.

I picked a strand of hair off of her forehead, even as the sweat clung on to it, and wiped eyes dry. I told her how much I loved her, how I would never let anyone hurt her.

Finally she lifted her arm and pointed a trembling finger.

There's something in the closet, she said.

I laughed out loud as I felt the hold on my heart being lifted. Even the irrational can be justified in the mind of a child, as long the spark of terror existed. A spark that can stoke the fire. But even as my voice filled the air, there was something lurking underneath it. An emptiness. I had almost laughed a little too loud, almost as if I was trying to convince myself. I tossed her on the bed in mock rage and strode to the door, determined to prove her wrong.

Each step got heavier, as I dragged my feet to the door. The smile on my face seemed blank, etched on my some macabre artist. But I wore it still, like I would a mask at a party. It wasn't mine, it didn't belong to me. I wore it all the same. The icy grip sneaked its way in, caressing ever so lightly, a lovers touch. As the tips of my fingers touched the slightly cold handle, I paused for a moment. I hesitated, as I saw how much my hands were trembling, how afraid I really was. Was it really that crazy? Schrödinger's cat could be alive and dead at the same time, but worse still, it might not be there at all. Was it really that insane to let whatever fear she had, whatever she thought was hiding behind this door, to let it fester inside by itself, undisturbed, rather than let it out and face the consequences?

What was wrong with me?

I grabbed the handle and pulled it open with so much force, the door almost came off the hinges. The flotsam of every childs closet awaited me, clothes, toys,books and miscellaneous nothings. I pretended to ruffle around through her belongings as common sense took over me and I called out to her.

See! Nothing in here except your own imagination!

The cold, high laugh of a child rung out around the room...



I spun around to look at her, only to see no smile on her face. No smile at all. Fear and horror, as she raised a finger again, at the door, at the mirror on the inside of the door. I faced the mirror and the version of myself staring back at me, smiling at me in the most unnatural fashion. I watched in horror as the smile widened, and then kept on widening, till it spread from ear to ear, like a caricature, like a fairytale animal, like no human at all. There was not a trace of humanity in that smile.

The door slammed against me with blinding force, and as I was thrown off my feet, her screams filled the air. And I watched as it rushed to her, grabbed her, snapped her tiny neck.

As it ran from room to room, a rushing force, dragging behind and destroying everything in its path, like a possessed gale. Hands around my wife's neck and staring as the life ebbed out of her eyes. Stabbing my teenage son till his blood soaked the walls and the floor and the very foundations of our house.

I watched.

And I screamed.

A light tap, almost as if to not wake the occupants inside the house. A gentle and courteous knock.

The man jumped to his feet, fear scarring his face. He brought the barrel of the gun to bear on the door.

He opened his mouth to ask who was out there, but he already knew.

The tapping had been replaced by dull thuds now. The window panes began to rattle in earnest, joining in and forming a symphony of destructive sounds. With each beat, the sound of the door being beaten down grew louder and louder, as time drew to a close.

He slipped his shoes off, sat back in the chair and looked around his home, at the blood of his family splattered all around and over him. He cocked the gun and placed the butt on the ground. The banging grew louder, the very earth around him shook now. Whatever little of the house and its contents remained intact, prepared to break now. He placed the barrel in his mouth and slipped his over the trigger. The cold, wet feel of blood on his bare foot sent a shudder through him.

There was almost no fear, there was only the quiet between each bang. A quite that lasted only a moment, and an infinity. Peace in the chaos.

The door shattered in front of him, debris flying across the room.

there's something in the closet

The fear was back. As he watched the figure lurking in the darkness beyond step into the flickering radiance of his devastated home. As he watched himself smile.

The glory of a childs imagination. The fear of reality, of an abusive father.

nothing in here except your own imagination

That's all it took.

Saturday, March 21, 2015

Deaths Derision

Whisper,flutter in the darkness.
The sound of her wings.
Quiet as night,light as shadow

She steps out into the banished light
She bleeds out the heat from bones
She steps lightly

In the cold street,I savor my last
as she loomed over me
And a bright shadow was cast

I ask her for a chance,to stay her scythe
Bound by the Eternal
She must oblige

I tell her my tale,of woe and sadness
of disappointed people and unchecked madness

Of broken promises and shattered dreams
Of a life that pulled me apart by the seams

And all the while she stared unmoved
Her Dark mask,stayed unbroken and true

As I weep and sob and broke into the night
 she cast me up,and dragged me on my back

When she spoke,her high voice ripped into me
As her every word tore into and destroyed me

As she dragged me up from mortal plane
into being after death

"What does it mean it to be Death?
To be light at the end of your darkness
To be respite after pain,
To be the last lie

For I am the Nothing after life,
I am the bearer good will and bad news

I'm Superman,with the weight of Hope on my chest
I'm the final goodbye,the last caress."

Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Days Inn Hotel (Rough Diamond)

               Beautiful, Sweet
       Yearning, Hoping, Clawing
Pulls you in Close, Leaves you Wanting
       Falling, Breaking, Drowning
               Disfigured, Bitter                        

Thursday, January 8, 2015


Crash over stained black edges
Foaming rage,unleashed fury.
March and charge,fall back and rally
the battle rages,evermore

Solid and immovable,tall and dark
Rock hewn  from rock
Stand guard,stand tall
Solid and immovable,forevermore

Crash over black stained edges
Seeping cracks,weeping faults
Shape and shift even rock
Days beginning and days end,evermore

Jagged edges crumbled by smothering embrace
Rock and stone and dust gives way
Foaming rage,Unleashed fury
Rallies and crashes,Forevermore