Scripture

Forgive me for what I am
Imperfect in every way
Salacious arrogance
Chipped marble on a decadent stairway

I am the silver ghost
Man modeled on Gods vision
Borne for all to see
Except a Pope's aberration

I stood at the foot of the tower and gazed up at its pulchritude,its razed and shattered peak
Built by slaves for a man who forsook servitude,to honor God with destruction He did not seek
I glanced around at the chipped base and reflected on the hypocrisy of its foundation
The Beacon of Saints shines pale,in the Light of the Arrogant Malconformation

What do you see other than the word of God
Corrupted by Man under the guise of a preaching prophet
Emboldened by fanaticism ensures a rhetoric,you don't dare fight it.
A belief in powers beyond you means your life can have a purpose
You're not alone if you're in a cult legitimized by a history that should mean less
But why do I speak of God?I seek redemption in his grace,a clear desire
To be better in his eyes and not to be a broken liar
So I set my chisel to myself and crack the hammer down
It cracks and breaks me,never does it make a sound
I turned the hammer on my self and beat it against my bare chest

Strike hard and true,beat my soul into submission
On the anvil of hope and lies,there can be only redemption.
If not in his eyes,then surely my own,but my sins have left me blinded
But that's what Faith is so I keep beating.
As my heart turns to fire and the impurities leave me bleeding,
As I am purged of all evil that I was borne with,
And all my flawed imperfections can leave me forthwith.

But as I leave the valley and the shadow I feel pretty much the same
Maybe i should've seen all that religion for what it was,a game.
I rolled the dice hard and prayed for a six or nine,
The dice came back with a message,"Better luck next time".
So I go back to the table and hope for a better hand.
As  I keep playing,here was the truth I never did understand.
You can hold all the aces,queens,jacks and kings,
But when "God" is the dealer,the house always wins.

Dear Emily Part-1

I experienced a brief moment.

My world was green and blue,uncertain and unsteady.

I experienced a moment of peace,and it held for a while. My world,suspended. The rain pricked my naked face,drops of it attacking from all directions,whipped all around me in fury. I caught a glimpse of the night sky,the storm striking down at us with a vengeance. I hear the creaking of wood,straining against the forces that try to tear it into splinters,crying out. I watch all the terrified faces and try and remember their names and their stories. Most are trying to dispatch their duties to the best of their abilities,some are trying to reconcile with their Gods. Will they be mourned?The cauldron boils and ravages,the sea wants its  due. A brief moment of suspended reality,as time slows down. I caught a glimpse of a sky veiled in storm,as another wave of green and blue took its place. The ocean is our land,our skies and our world. Soon it will be our deaths as well.

The moment passes and the sea resumes its judgement. We tumble in the deep,lines snap and wood splinters. Unsecured cargo slides beneath deck as one of the sails breaks loose from its bonds. It whips about,filled by mighty gusts of wind,pulling the ship around with it. It's freedom means our doom but I cannot help but marvel at the sight. Our wooden salvation screams in agony as it is ripped into dark oblivion,as it begins to tip over into the beyond.

I glance down into the claws that are my hands,gripping onto the wooden railing for all they're worth. I wrench one free,I can barely see it through the dark mist.Whatever little my eyes catch,the edges appear blurred,they're shaking so much. A rouge wave crashes into the bow and threatens to send me flying over,but I hold on for dear life.

HOLD ON!HOLD ON!HOLD ON!

My mind is empty,save those words. My life doesn't flash before me,all I see is my own imminent death. I reach out into the void in desperation,hoping to grasp at something to tether me to the world of the living,something to prove that my years on this world have not been in vain. I reach out for one happy moment and I see your face. Dear Emily-

The ship crests over a wave and the moment freezes again. Rain glides across,the boiling sea pauses. The mast is beginning to shatter,ever so slowly,the wood just beginning to crack. The skies are beautiful in their perpetual rage.As I watch above,I see the skies beginning to shatter as well,bright blue cracks over the visage snake across ever so slowly. They reach across,like greedy fingers across young flesh. One tiny little finger is reaching out farther than the rest. I begin to hear the slow rumbling all around me,building up a symphony of nothing. The little finger bears a gift for us all,redemption in destruction. Everyone else is preoccupied in try to delay the inevitable,trying to keep the ship afloat. They too are frozen in this moment in time. I watch as the inevitable comes.

It's so close now,I feel like our ship is reach as well,pulled in a macabre mutual attraction. The lightest touch and a flash.


Dear Emily

An unknown place,an unknown time.

A Combination of Letters With Meaning

I'm not ready for this
Not ready for these words to come to life
when everything else is lost in strife
am i perfect?not quite
my verses?quite shite.
over and under as the needle flashes
six feet of pity suffocates me as it crashes
over me,under me,swells all around
they said i had a reason that was lost but now its found
they said that i was heresy,i praised the god that was only me
they were blind,they couldnt see,i'm the preacher to the flock of me
a shepherd,a crook,the big bad wolf
the only person i betrayed was lil ol me



I'm not searching for bliss
I wanted an empty piece of mind
where i could leave the world behind
trapped in a sordid reality
with the walls crumbling around me
the weight of it all crushes my body but my mind flows free
and the words make sense
random combination of letters with meaning
i look for words to say what im feeling
but im fumbling in the dark
and no matter where i look its dark
im blind but i could never see
that these syllable voices inside of my head
were just lost memories of a different side of me
a person i knew,i person i missed,all the lights are flashing red
but since he was gone i slipped into his skin,i stitched on a smile and made it nice and wide
stretched from ear to ear,around the head
all the people i fooled
never knew he was dead

am i him or was he me
what never was,can never be

four disconcerting thoughts

Let me breathe fire
Let the world know my shame

Where's the writing on the wall
the ceiling,the floor but the mirror
The mirror shows me for what I am
unreal and opposite,smiling and tame

show me the rhyme
the reason to build
where the artists can file
and the bidding can begin

i tell me to ask why we pretend
is it just a lie or do we really care
we all have our problems,why pity the weak
look,here's another one you can like and share

words with no hate
are words with no meaning
words can buy love
if the price is right,and the bitch is willing

halflife

sharing her demons
savoring my pain
holding her hand and
wiping her stain'd

eyes, and her lies
and her reasons to stay
her torrential denial
my nerves of fray'd

endings are less than they're made out to be
unless your world's burning
unless you're me